literally had 100 drinks last night.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
