Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
