ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
