The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize