physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
