Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
and i looked up. we had an audience...
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
