Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
