who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
