am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
