Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
