I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
