it was like his penis was on wheels.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
