Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Just puked most of my soul out..
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
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