Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
