There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
