Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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