My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
