I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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