If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
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