Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
