Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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