I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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