yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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