Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
