I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
i dont even know how to be here
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
