I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
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