told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Randomize
