Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
