i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Randomize
