I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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