Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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