apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
