I wannas sexs uuuuu
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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