I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
