after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
