I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
This toilet bowl is my home.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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