something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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