I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Randomize
