I hope mine doesn't look like that
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
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