shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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