omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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