I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
