There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Randomize
