Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
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