Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
