I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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