College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
