I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I need to align my fucking chakras
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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