i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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