I think i sorta joined a cult last night
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
