operation have a gay friend backfired
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
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