I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
