why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
