i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
My breasts were aching with rage.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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