I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
