I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
