his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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