I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
