i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
