party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
