We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
