Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Randomize
