There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize