This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
