Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
