the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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