i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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